The New Australian

I'm Moving!

2011-01-02T23:28:00.002+11:00

I'm finally moving over to Down Under Views, so be sure to check me out over there! :)

Best Wishes

2010-12-25T20:01:00.001+11:00

Moments of Idiocy

2010-12-14T16:11:00.003+11:00

See that? No, I didn't just decide to create a colorful towel path from the lounge out to the back door just for kicks (though that is a thought for another day). This is what happens when I have one of my, what I like to call, 'Moments of Idiocy'.

Our laundry is set up so we basically have a tube that empties the water out into the laundry sink. Simple. But last night I took that tube and hooked it up on the faucet knobs behind the washer so I could wash Asimov (what? he has fleas...) without it getting in the way.

Flash forward a bit over twelve hours and I decide that I should try to catch up on laundry while I'm working. I have enough energy for that.

But guess who forgot to put the tube back in the sink.

MOI. (See that there? MOI = Me = Moments of Idiocy. Cleeeever.)

The good news is that the laundry washing machine, freezer, doors, walls and floor as well as the hallway for and part of the lounge got a nice cleaning. The better news is that we have hardwood floors instead of carpet in the hall and lounge.

Still, that's really the last time I want to see the unit we're living in turning into a lake because of me. If it happens again, it should at least be because I've suddenly developed the awesome superpower of creating rain indoors.

Catching Up With Life

2010-12-09T20:52:00.000+11:00

My body decided to throw my for a loop by making me think my appendix was going to blow up. As it turns out, it was my sneaky ovary making all the fuss.

So I’m home now, but I’m sore, exhausted and having a bit of a hard time catching up with things.

Slowly but surely…

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-08T14:50:00.003+11:00

Friday Funny: Animal Groups

2010-12-03T15:39:00.000+11:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-01T20:26:00.004+11:00

30 Days of Truth - Day 30

2010-11-30T20:18:00.001+11:00

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Dear Me,

As I look at this prompt, I can't tell if this is going to be a long post or a short one...

Let's get to it, shall we?

I love your enthusiasm. It's an enthusiasm that sometimes gets you in trouble in one way or another, but is something no one has ever been able to take away from you. That love for life is what you'll take with you to the end.

I love that you are still discovering your passions. It is frustrating sometimes to not know who you are or where you are going, but the thrill of discovery is awesome and you still have so much of your life to shape.

Finally, I love your strength. I know you don't think you are strong and I know there have been some very tough times when you were weak, but overall... You don't believe it, but you have done some amazing things that took an amount of strength that some people never learn in their entire lives.

Be well. Do well.

Me

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 29

2010-11-29T20:13:00.002+11:00

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Physically, I want to lose weight. Not just for my health, not just to conceive but also to show myself that I am more than my past and that I can do it. *muscle pose*

Mentally, I want to get past my hangups so I can fully live life and do everything I want to do with it. I want to be brave and effervescent, smart and yet not cynical and just a plain lover of life.

Spiritually, if you want to call it that, I want to know myself as a person. I want to be at peace with myself.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 28

2010-11-28T20:09:00.002+11:00

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Well, if I got someone pregnant, I would have to laugh off my rear end and enlist myself as a miracle freak of nature. ;)

Seriously, if I were pregnant, I would celebrate. I would be a little freaked out because I'm not at all prepared in body or in mind, but I would still celebrate. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) so I am a little nervous that, when the time comes, it will be difficult to conceive. But when I do conceive... Well, I know that I can't imagine it now and that I will be nervous, but it will be amazing.

Oh, and I'd tell The Bloke first, face to face.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 27

2010-11-27T17:21:00.002+11:00

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Hm. That's a hard one...

It's not that I don't have much going for me in the good category right now, it's that it's hard to pick the best. My life isn't sunshine and puppy dogs by any means, but I have a life where... Ah, got it.

The best thing I have going for me right now is the sheer amount of opportunities out there. I'm young. I'm reasonably intelligent. I'm enthusiastic. I'm nice. And I'm excited just to be living. The fact that I am in a place in my life where I feel safe, comfortable and able to achieve pretty much any dream I set my mind to is amazing - and so freeing.

It doesn't get much better than that.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 26

2010-11-26T17:14:00.002+11:00

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

I'm not very happy to say this, but yes, I have thought about giving up on life. In fact, I did give up on life.

I cam to a point in my life where I had burned the few good bridges I had in my life (my two best friends), had the few strings I had going (university loans being one) yanked away from me (they refused to grant the loan for my third year of university) and had what I though had been stable ground taken from me (won't get into that). I didn't see a way out or up. I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone who would understand and didn't trust anyone who said they could understand (aka pill pushing so-called 'psychiatrists'). I flirted with suicide and didn't see that my life could possibly go anywhere.

Then life gave me a little spank and told me it wasn't done with me yet. And here I am, Working on things and gazing in wonder at this amazing opportunity to live that I have been given.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 25

2010-11-25T15:24:00.003+11:00

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I find it appropriate that this prompt came on US Thanksgiving, a day when one is supposed to sit back and think about all the things in life to be grateful for. I don't really celebrate Thanksgiving anymore, but it's always good to think about the things you are grateful for.

I know that The Bloke, my husband, has been the person I have talked about the most this month. But he is a huge part of the new life I have built for myself.

Things in my life were heading downhill in a hurry before I met The Bloke. I had no feeling of self-worth, no belief that I could be much and I was on medication for depression because my relationship with my parents was quickly disintegrating but I couldn't afford my own place.

From the first time we talked, The Bloke engaged me in a way that no person ever had before. He 'held my hand' and supported me as I started taking the steps to becoming a woman with confidence and to seeing that I had a world of possibilities in front of me.

I believe that I am still alive because of him and the seeds of self-worth that he helped me plant in my heart.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 24

2010-11-24T14:55:00.000+11:00

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
Thank You - Alanis Morissette
Hard Candy Christmas - Dolly Parton
You're Beautiful - James Blunt
Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
And So It Goes - Billy Joel

Dear Younger Self,

Many of these songs haven't come out at your age, but you will discover them. Each holds a special message just for you - some obvious and some that will be special just for you.

Enjoy them and listen to them. Don't let them fade away because, even years later, they will still be just as powerful to you.

[30 Days of Truth]

Aussie Gets Fit Day 23/Day 2

2010-11-23T21:12:00.003+11:00

When I think about it being day 23 of dedicating myself to my health and well-being, I can't help but smile. The time has flown so fast, and I've already had ups and downs with the making of new friends and adding in social occasions. But I feel so good! I feel like I have started the habits of a lifetime rather than just another 'new diet'.

I have added on another component to my lifestyle. Even though it feels weird to say that on day two, I feel proud just to have started. Exercise and I haven't had the best of relationships in the past, but things are going well. Even if it is just day two.

That's me! I wanted to take a picture on day one, but I was waiting on a replacement camera after mine bit the fuzz. This isn't a great pic by any means, but it features me with my essentials: bandanna to keep my hair back, mp3 player currently set to The Fry Chronicles by Stephen Fry, my sunnies and a loose jumper over my t-shirt.

Today I definitely walked four kilometres, as The Bloke dropped me off a little further away. That started my walk with a hill, which set my ankle off a little. I'm thinking of wrapping it up to make it a little sturdier until the muscle builds up.

All in all, I feel like I'm on the right track and I like how things are going - slowly but surely. I'm not sure if I'll ever like getting up so early in the morning, but it really does work best for me to exercise first thing.

Things are looking up.

30 Days of Truth - Day 23

2010-11-23T21:03:00.002+11:00

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

This question is a little hard to answer because while there are things I wish I had done, I still have plenty of time to do them. Then again...

The time before I moved to Australia was a stressful one on many different levels. But the one thing that I wish I would have done was think more about what I was bringing with me.

I sent one box ahead of me before I flew over and had only one luggage back and my laptop bag. The box held things that were important to me, but there were other things that were important to me that I didn't think about at the time because I packed in a hurry. My Dr. Seuss books. My vintage Barbie doll that my grandmother bought me the year I was born. Plenty of other knick-knacks that meant nothing to anyone but me.

I know they were only things, but they were my things. They had positive memories attached, and I wish I could hold them in my hands now.

[30 Days of Truth]

Walk It Off

2010-11-22T12:48:00.000+11:00

Today I got up about two hours earlier than I am used to - which, in and of itself is pretty huge because I am not a morning person - so my husband could drop me off on his way to work. With my sunnies on, my hair pulled back and my audiobook of The Fry Chronicles by Stephen Fry in my mp3 player, I set off.

I didn't miss the irony of the universe when - completely unknown to me - Fry started his biography talking about his addiction to sugar and what it did to him. He swiftly went from an intelligent man I like to listen to, to a comrade in arms who has struggled as I do with this sweet-laden society.

Unlike music, which - after years of marching band - forces me to walk the tempo of whatever song is on, having an audiobook on engages my mind in a way that let's me walk at a truly beginner's pace while engaging my mind to the point I can mostly ignore breathlessness, soreness and sweat.

In one hour and two minutes I walked somewhere between 3.5 and 4 kilometres (somewhere between just over 2 and 2.5 miles) nonstop. I'm feeling quite chuffed about both the distance and the amount of time it took. An hour seems to perfectly... perfect and the distance challenges me without leaving me feeling like a worn out bicycle tire.

I know this is the first day of many, but taking that first step is so incredibly important that it is worth celebrating.

I already have my first goal, too. The Bloke has promised me that if I keep up with my walking routine with no exceptions for a month, I get to go in and have shoes fitted to me (something we've seen advertised on tele for athletes).

Overall, this is a very happy start. I hope to have my replacement camera with me soon so I can take pictures of the walk.

30 Days of Truth - Day 22

2010-11-22T10:18:00.002+11:00

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

This one sort of goes along with the list of things I need to forgive myself for...

There was a time in my life - not too long ago - when I didn't believe I could be loved at a deep level. On a face level, on a flirting level... Sure. But deep, long lasting love? Nope. Wasn't going to happen to me.

As what often happens with these sort of ideas, I ended up going out with men who were very wrong for me. In one way or another, the relationships were never going to last. And I knew that, so I felt safe.

But then I met the Bloke, a man who matched me on levels I didn't even bother to think about with other guys. He was the list I had made of my ideal man: intelligent, taller than me (hey, I did say 'my ideal'), funny, loves animals, likes computers, loves travel, someone I could spend hours talking to...

But seeing him and knowing he was capable of that deep love - and I capable of that deep love for him - scared me. I was scared of love like that because it would hurt so much more when he left me, which I was convinced he would do at sometime. So I treated him badly. The assumption of him hurting me led to me hurting him first. The first year of our relationship was not at all easy - and not just because of the massive distance between us. I was rotten at times, I am so lucky that The Bloke is one of the most patient people I know.

That treatment of him is something I wish I hadn't done. He doesn't think on it anymore because he understands it was a defense mechanism. But I still think back sometimes and sigh, wanting to go back in time to smack myself upside the head.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 21

2010-11-21T10:14:00.000+11:00

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

I think I am in a bit of a snarky mood today because my first reaction to this question was: Well, duh. You go see if your friend is okay.

A fight of a moment doesn't take away a friendship of a lifetime.

But, for the sake of argument, let's say best friend has told me that she's been sleeping with my husband. Even then, I cannot imagine not going to the hospital to visit or whatever. I wouldn't bring flowers and I probably would hesitate before going, but in my mind there is no possibility of not going or whatever other options there are.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 20

2010-11-20T10:08:00.002+11:00

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I've lived in the States and in Australia, and while the laws are different, I still think we have very backwards views on things.

For example: Alcohol is toxic to every organ in your body, and it is legal. Marijuana (just pure marijuana without crap added) is perfectly fine and it is illegal.

Another example: Alcohol is addictive - an addiction that can get passed through families. You could sit and eat marijuana cookies all day long and all you would get is twenty pounds and a nice buzz.

Tell me why we sell alcohol and not marijuana.

I'm just using the examples of general alcohol and marijuana because those are easiest to talk about. There are wine coolers you could claim never hurt anyone and there are other drugs that are the scourge of the Earth. But lumping all alcohol and all drugs into firm categories is like saying that one diet works for all people.

It just doesn't work like that.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 19

2010-11-19T10:04:00.002+11:00

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

As far as I am concerned, both are subjects I have little to do with because too many people use both to do things that are wrong - and I can't do a damn thing about it.

30 Days of Truth - Day 18

2010-11-18T16:10:00.002+11:00

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

This could get me in trouble because people get so heated up about this... But here we go.

The way I see it, marriage stopped being a religious convention when the state stepped in. The state/the government/etc. The moment that there were legal implications of becoming married, religion became an alternate in the marriage 'game'. Sometimes religion plays, sometimes it doesn't, depending on the couple.

The reason I bring religion into it is because that's the reason a lot of people site for being against gay marriage.

Okay. Now that's established.

Two people love each other, they kiss, they are pronounced married, they sign a license which is then filed with the government, not the local church. So why do religious views have to get into it? Atheists and agnostics have been getting married for a long, long time, and religion doesn't say "you shouldn't be wed because you don't believe in God/god/gods" etc. In many of those weddings, religions have nothing to do with it. They even get a celebrant instead of a religious figure to perform the ceremony. And it is still perfectly legitimate in the eyes of the government.

So why can't gay people do that too?

They are two people. They are in love. They want the joy of filing joint taxes, too. What does it matter what they do in the bedroom? Nobody cares what agnostics do in the bedroom.

If a preacher/priest/whatever isn't keen on officiating gay marriages, then that's his choice. If a church doesn't want those kind of weddings in their church, whatever. But to dictate government policy - that's why I mentioned government first - on religious views that not everyone holds is silly. What happened to separation of church and state? That little ol' thing in the constitution?

For me, you can't have both the government view of marriage and the religious restrictions on marriage. It makes the entire institution hypocritical.

Have religious weddings. Have non-religious weddings. Have whatever weddings you want. But until religion removes government policies based on and around 'the couple', religion shouldn't dictate who can be a couple.

'There is so much good in the worst of us and bad in the best of us that it behooves any one of us to find fault with the rest of us.' - Anonymous

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 17

2010-11-17T10:11:00.001+11:00

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

I don't think I could pick just one...

When I was a little girl, I learned the meaning of unconditional love from a book called The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.

Also when I was young, The Lorax by Dr. Seuss had me looking at the environment in a whole new way and taught me to love my environment.

As a first year uni student suffering from severe depression, one of the counselors who worked with me recommended the book Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. I didn't quite understand why she would recommend a writing book for a mood disorder, but I picked it up anyway. Writing Down the Bones changed my view of my writing from something I 'just did' that I liked and people said I did well to a deeper, almost spiritual, connection to what I wanted to express from my soul. I finally viewed my writing as an art and a passion rather than an act and happy hobby.

And, the book I'm reading now: Losing Your Pounds of Pain by Doreen Virtue. This book is teaching me that even the stuff I thought I was fully right blaming myself for isn't my fault. Now that is a beautiful weight to have lifted off my shoulders.

Books are beautiful.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 16

2010-11-16T13:34:00.002+11:00

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Road rage! Well, angry people in general. I won't even post a yelling person picture for this post because I don't want to look at it.

I hate to admit it, but I'm one of those sensitive/empathic/willnotcallmyselffragile people that bullies and mean people love to pick on. Thankfully I'm a nice enough person to have gotten by without people trying to get a rise out of me. But even angry people I don't know being angry in my general direction upsets me.

Especially road rage.

Anger has been made out to be such a 'bad' emotion these days that people suppress so much. So you end up with people like me who are frightened of anger and people who act out their anger inappropriately (like when they feel 'safe' in a car).

The Bloke and I once had an experience with a pair of teens who rode our bumper for miles and miles (country road, few turn offs, one lane for each direction, double lines, and a line of slow people in front of us), then we got into a town and they proceeded to harass us - cutting us off, slowing down in front of us, trying to drag, yelling, swearing, flipping us off...

Now that was traumatic enough for the Bloke, who was driving, but it sent me into a tailspin. I could not let it go for weeks. Horrible horrible. And all over not passing a line of traffic on a double line.

Anger is not a bad emotion - there are no 'bad' emotions - but what people do with it... I wish anger management was a mandatory class.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 15

2010-11-15T15:43:00.004+11:00

My wedding garter.

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

My husband.

Yeah, I know that is probably the 'easy' answer, but it's true! Back when I was in the US and he was in Australia, we did have a brief period of living without each other in the emotional as well as obviously physical aspect.

It was horrible. I was completely miserable. The world just felt 'off' with us not being together. I had this horrible void inside that I just couldn't shake. Logic said it was easier to be without each other because of the distance, the age difference, difficulties we'd already been through... But he was as miserable as me. And we knew that we were meant to be together.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 14

2010-11-14T12:51:00.000+11:00

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

This is going to sound like such a cop out, but I've never had any 'heroes'. I can't think of anyone who has even been close to a hero (besides The Bloke - and he has never let me down), so I'm going to have to opt out of this one.

[30 Days of Truth]

Taking Ass and Kicking Names

2010-11-13T15:07:00.000+11:00

I meant to post this sooner, but, you know, life happened.

My appointment and the paranoia-inducing spot on my thumb update:

I'm so ready to punch my GP right in the balls. Yeah, I said it. You see, when I sat down to get The Spot looked at, I told him that I had concerns about cancer. Breast cancer that morphed into liver, bone, etc cancers killed my grandmother. My mother has a freaking brain tumor. Weird little spot in the country where skin cancer is the big cancer?

I'll take 'how to freak JM out for $500, please'. Instead of reassuring me, my GP had me freaking out even worse. That's why I was so nervous! And why I wanted my appointment moved ahead. He told me how weird it was to get a spot on my thumb and how it looked odd, etc, etc.

Lo and behold...

I went to the dermatologist who didn't even think it was worth removing. 'Just a mole. Looks like any other, and it's not odd to have it on your thumb. If it keeps getting bigger and you're worried, come back to see me.'

Simple as that!

So on one hand, I am relieved that I don't have anything to worry about. At least for a long time yet. On the other hand, I don't want to see a doctor who is just going to play up my fears. I wonder if he got some sort of referral fee...

Life moves on and the typing is as fast as ever. Phew!

30 Days of Truth - Day 13

2010-11-13T14:55:00.000+11:00

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Dear Lifehouse,

Though you were around long before, I only discovered you during my university years - the toughest years of my life thus far. You were an instant hit with me, and when I listened to You and Me, which made me feel closer to my husband while we were separated by distance, I needed to find more music by you.

Once again, your music echoed my relationship when I first felt the amazing realisation of knowing that my husband meant everything to me and that life without him was something I didn't want to contemplate.

Even these days when I feel like I'm falling apart, you manage to make me feel like I'm not alone.

Even better, you somehow manage to pick up other songs that mean a lot to me.

Thank you for all the beautiful music.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 12

2010-11-12T10:51:00.001+11:00

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Hm. There are plenty of things I never get compliments on, but I'm assuming we're going for things that actually apply to me...

I never get compliments on my organization. Going by my desk, you wouldn't think I'm organized. But all you need to do is look at all the spreadsheets I keep for work and personal...

I never get compliments on being funny, though I've been known to crack people up every now and then.

Then there are the vanity ones like hair, eyes, shoes, clothing (probably because I'm plus sized with a budget - not good in Australia), etc.

I have gotten compliments on my smile and laugh, though, so I can't include those.

Yet, even thinking about what I don't get complimented on, I find I don't care. Cool for me.

Friday Funny: "The Talk" Boss Version

2010-11-12T10:47:00.000+11:00

30 Days of Truth - Day 11

2010-11-11T10:17:00.000+11:00

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Haha. Back in high school, I had people compliment me on how long my eyelashes are. Woo!

Let's see...

The compliment that I hear most often since I moved to Australia is that I am a great baker.

At first I didn't believe it. Yeah, I made great brownies, but that didn't make me a great baker. Since then I have realised that baking is like writing. Two people can write English words, but the true writer can write a novel. Two people can follow the same recipe, but sometimes it's that extra bit of love and soul that someone passionate about cooking/baking puts in that makes it a truly marvelous dish.

Being known for sinfully delicious brownies isn't too shabby. :) I like it.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 10

2010-11-10T10:13:00.000+11:00

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

I'm afraid I'm going to be boring with this one. I can't think of anyone I need to let go. I suppose there are people I wish I didn't know, but that's more in regards to the past, so it doesn't quite fit this prompt. I'm more keen on wishing I didn't have the memories rather than the person (who is no longer in my life).

[30 Days of Truth]

Happy Dance!

2010-11-09T14:36:00.002+11:00

I called the skin clinic and asked them to notify me of any cancellations. My little sunspot is getting darker and growing, so waiting another few weeks was beginning to grind on me.

Lo and behold, someone cancelled! I'll be getting it removed on Thursday. Woot!

I'll be posting ahead with the 30 Days of Truth so I don't miss a beat. :)

30 Days of Truth - Day 09

2010-11-09T14:05:00.003+11:00

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Once upon a time, I had a best friend. We were pretty much known for our friendship with each other. Where one was, that one got asked where the other was. (That was my experience, anyway.) We traveled together, had a lot of the same interests, had plenty of laughs and shared our dreams with each other.

I used to think that our friendship ended when I moved to Australia and said friend didn't want to deal with that. But, years later, I see that we had been drifting apart for a while before then. Depression began to swallow me whole, and said friend was going through a hell of a lot that she didn't seem to know how to talk about or didn't want to.

I don't regret my actions; I did the best I could with an increasingly abusive environment that set of making my depression increasingly worse. I do wish we could have at least tried to talk more.

Me moving to Australia, something I had to do for me, must have simply been the last straw for said friend. Now we're different people and lead different lives, so...

There we are.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 08

2010-11-08T18:49:00.004+11:00

Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

I don't want to sit here and call someone out, though my earlier posts may have indicated that I would. I see this prompt and I think about all the people I have treated badly in the past. I was downright horrible to some people. But then again, weren't we all at some point?

That said, a couple people do come to mind when I read that prompt, but they don't quite fit. Nobody made my life hell; certain people made moments of my life hell or treated me badly. That's just part of the game, though, isn't it?

Perhaps I won't be so introspective and zen on another day, but today, to conjure up all those bad memories of all the ways those particular people treated me badly would just serve to put me in a bad mood. At the moment, I'm in a good mood, so I don't want to spoil that.

So, yes, there are a few people in my life I feel treated me very badly. But that's done now and I'm going to take a hot bath.

[30 Days of Truth]

30 Days of Truth - Day 07

2010-11-07T04:26:00.001+11:00

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

My husband, The Bloke, doesn't think he's an amazing man. In fact, he thinks he's just average. But really, especially in my eyes, he's the most incredible man I have ever met.

The first time we met, we talked all night. The only reason we stopped talking was because we'd talked all the way through the night and early morning up to my 8am psychology class. You couldn't tell that I hadn't slept at all, though, because I was walking on the moon.

We met during a difficult time in my life, and he was with me every step of the way. He helped me look after my health when I didn't want to, he listened when I needed to talk and he made me a priority in his life when he had plenty of things happening in his.

I didn't expect him to stick around, so I hurt him. More than once. But he was mature enough and forgiving enough to see what was really happening. He forgave me when he didn't need to and loved me when I thought myself unloveable.

Almost unbelievably, things got even worse in my home situation. And he saved me.

Through the good times and the bad, he'd been saving money. Week in and week out, he put a little bit into an account. That money bought me a flight from the US to Australia. Out of the nightmare and into the sunshine.

He saved my life in all but the most literal way, and I never forget that. And he continues to make my life worth living.

30 Days of Truth - Day 06

2010-11-06T04:23:00.001+11:00

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Say goodbye to The Bloke. For any circumstance.

I can survive without him, but I don't want to have to.

Friday Funny: "The Talk" Girlfriend Version

2010-11-05T09:59:00.000+11:00

I love this commercial...

30 Days of Truth - Day 05

2010-11-05T04:15:00.002+11:00

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

I want to find out who I really am.

At this point in my life, I'm just drifting. I don't feel like a 'whole' person just yet with a firm, solid personality. I drift around from Holly Homemaker to Witty Writer Lately to Stripy Socks and back again. I've got images of who I want to be...

*The kind of person who can say 'awesomesauce' and get away with it.
*The kind of person who wears snarky but clever t-shirts and geeky accessories.
*The kind of person who wears stripy socks and does fun things with her hair... even at 30 or 40.
*The kind of person that weighs quite a few pounds less than I currently do.

...but that's only a start.

I will get there. I just need to keep pushing myself toward it.

Everything Melbourne in 30 Seconds

2010-11-04T12:53:00.002+11:00

30 Days of Truth - Day 04

2010-11-04T04:08:00.001+11:00

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Eesh. These just keep getting better and better, don't they?

Might as well dig right in...

I need to forgive my mother. (I hate how familiar that must sound.) I need to forgive her for so many things, but at this point, I need to forgive her the most for never admitting to what she's done.

I accept that she'll never admit to it, much less talk about it, but acceptance is still a step or two away from forgiveness. I know she's a product of the abuses she suffered as a child as well, but there is a point where you either repeat those actions or consciously decide that the abuse will not continue. I made that choice. My daughter will never suffer at my hand or question my love for her.

I forgive my mother for not making that choice to stop; it's hard to get past memes. But to then not accept what you've done and work to get past it, thus denying yourself and your daughter from any sort of real relationship, is unforgiveable.

At least for now.

30 Days of Truth - Day 03

2010-11-03T03:59:00.003+11:00

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Ew. I don't like this one. May I skip to the next?

I suppose you could say I have a lot of 'hang ups' with my past. There is a lot of unfinished business and a lot of people who are angry with me. I feel justified, but also...

Anyway. I think the biggest, worst 'sin' of them all that I did that I need to forgive myself for is... binge eating since I was about four years old.

(Wow. I had something else typed in but realised that I wasn't being completely honest. I type that whopper in and the tears start gathering!)

I was abused as a child in different ways and that brought out many different habits in me. One was binge eating. Some people turn to anorexia, some to bullemia... I tried those when I was at university, but I started off with binge eating.

Food has forever been the one thing I could control. Not the food I ate, but how much I ate. Some of my earliest memories are of literally eating myself sick. Yeah. A lot of horrible memories, those.

I need to forgive myself for coping with my childhood by binge eating because, frankly, not forgiving myself for doing it is keeping me from losing the weight now that I'm in a safe place.

30 Days of Truth - Day 02

2010-11-02T03:48:00.002+11:00

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Why does this one have to be so much harder than the reasons you hate yourself one? That's just wrong...

Hm. What do I love about me...

I love my willingness to love.

That may seem like the easy answer, but bear with me. Ever since I was a little girl, I just wanted to love and be loved. I grew up in a religion, but the Golden Rule was my real religion. I believed in giving and loving and just wanting everyone to be happy. I failed. A lot. But I kept as true to that path as I could.

In the adult world, things are a lot harder. People get weirded out by 'just because' gifts. Some people become uncomfortable. That makes me sad, but it's a fact of adult life. People just don't trust as much, and I accept that.

But I keep giving when and where I can because it's what I love to do. It makes me feel fulfilled when I can give something. These days, the giving usually involves brownies, but I haven't heard any complaints yet.

So, in the end, I love my capacity to love. That is the one part of me that, if I lost it, I would no longer be me.

30 Days of Truth - Day 01

2010-11-01T03:37:00.003+11:00

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Well, you see, I have this habit of starting things on Mondays...

Okay, so I don't find that habit a reason to hate myself. Perhaps think myself slightly peculiar...

So what do I hate about myself?

I hate that I am so scared. I have this amazing life with so many opportunities, and yet I am at home at the computer most of the time, overweight and knowing that I should be doing something more. Barring finances and all that crap, I can do anything that I want. My imagination is the limit.

And yet, my imagination isn't coming up with much.

There are things I want, but I keep putting them off. I need to stop doing that because all it's doing is annoying me, and me being annoyed with myself is just a big bowl of sadflakes.

30 Days of Truth

30 Days of Truth

2010-10-29T15:16:00.004+11:00

As I was reading through my Google Reader buildup this morning and contemplating starting to drink coffee to my brain won't be so fuzzy in the morning, I came across this post from Miss Zoot.

While a post about why she hates herself may not seem like such a good thing, it's all part of a blog challenge called 30 Days of Truth that she found at Angel Believes.

Well, considering the fact that I think this place needs a little spicing up, I decided to join in. Why not? And November is thirty days long, starting on a Monday, so...

I've decided to give this a go with November 1st being day one. If anyone else wants to join in or already has, please let me know. I'll add you to my feed reader so I can check out your posts. :)

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

So, Here's the Thing...

2010-10-26T12:56:00.001+11:00

I'm fat, I want to get fit and I'm curious...

How many people out there are using walking (or speed walking or jogging or running) as your primary form of exercise?

When did you get start? How long/far/many steps did you start with? What about now?

What is your ‘must have’ piece of equipment? (Water bottle, mp3 player, the right shoes…)

Any advice for someone who is looking to start a walking routine?

Friday Funny - Bank Security Question

2010-10-22T11:55:00.001+11:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-20T14:47:00.002+11:00

Friday Funny - Simon's Cat in 'Cat Chat'

2010-10-15T02:58:00.001+11:00

Christmas is Coming

2010-10-14T10:36:00.001+11:00

Ack! Hide the children!

Christmas is coming...

Unlike in the US, where you at least have the buffers of Halloween and Thanksgiving to help stem the flow of Christmas into the earlier months, Australia doesn't have those holidays. We have 'The Race That Stops The Nation', which is something - but it's nothing to most retail shops.

And Christmas is starting to seep in...

Now, I love Christmas. I still feel like it should happen in July when it's actually cold, but I've since fallen in love with the Chrissy barbie. Usually including a heap of prawns in our household.

But still, those are things I want to look forward to. To think 'oh, we'll be able to do that again soon' at odd moments when my mind is drifting. I don't want Christmas items to start smacking me in the face in the middle of bloody October! It's one thing in the middle of November, but this is just getting stupid.

You can be promised that I'm not even going to think about getting out the tree until mid-December, so why should I have the visual assault on my eyes more than a month before the actual holiday happens?

Am I just puffing smoke? Are there people out there who actually like all this early Christmas crap being whipped out at shops?

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-13T10:34:00.001+11:00

Stephen Fry Kinetic Typography - Language

2010-10-12T11:25:00.001+11:00

I Think We Can Safely Say... Spring is Here

2010-10-11T17:59:00.004+11:00

Well, it may have taken a while beyond its official switchover for spring to finally arrive, but it has.

We've all been enjoying the increase in sunshine by opening up all the doors and windows when we can. It still gets too cold at night to keep them open, but at least we still get the benefits of fresh air.

Asimov has finally grown big and strong enough to get over the back fence. Sigh. He's grown so big! And given me a heart attack the first time he disappeared. He's still a guts at heart, though, and always comes back for food. And for cuddles with me.

Now if only he'd put a little more weight on before trying to take on full grown crows...

Friday Funny - Animal Edition

2010-10-08T16:05:00.003+11:00

Not Want Bath

This Coffee Smells Like Crap

Say Hello to My Little Friend...

2010-10-07T16:18:00.003+11:00

Say hello to my little friend, a brown spot toward the inside of my thumb. It looks tiny, but this little spot is what prompted my paranoia post earlier this week. You see, this spot turned up about March this year, comparable to the head of a pin. I only noticed it because that's the hand I write with - and because it's in a place that doesn't get a heck of a lot of sun.

Then it grew. With a vine-like brown lines, the teeny tiny spot began to grow, branching out not in an even circle but unevenly. Over the course of the year since March, the spot has been taking up more and more of my attention.

Call me paranoid if you like (I think I welcomed you too in the previous post, too), but cancer runs in my family. It killed my grandmother. It's killing my mother. And skin cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in Australia. I think I'm okay to be a little paranoid about a spot.

So I finally went to the doctor (GP) to get it checked out today, and I have a referral to a skin specialist. The GP was perplexed at its location and wanted a specialist to check it out before they went cutting it out. I don't get in to see the specialist until next month, but I'm okay with that. So long as I have an appointment.

The picture doesn't seem to show it right. But maybe it just seems bigger to me.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-07T16:14:00.003+11:00

I can haz glamor shot?

Sometimes It's Good to Be Paranoid

2010-10-05T17:48:00.001+11:00

A couple days ago, I told my husband that I needed to go to the doctor. I have a small spot on my thumb that has been growing ever so slowly since the beginning of this year. It's now stopped growing and is getting darker.

Time to get it checked.

On Sunday night I got really sick after not feeling quite right for the whole day. That night I ended up with cramps, vomiting and a very unpleasant night. I told my husband that, while I might not like the decision when I'm feeling better, I'm going back to a raw diet (with the exception of sushi rice because handrolls are a staple in my diet when I'm on the go). I'm tired or reacting to foods and growing more and more sensitive to everything.

We went shopping and stocked up on fruit, vege, and raw fruit and dried nuts to make trail mix.

Exercise consists of going for walks about five minutes because my tailbone is so our of it.

Time to go to the chiro.

I've become paranoid all the sudden. I'm paranoid about my thumb. About cancer - breast cancer spreading to bone and liver cancer - the cancer that killed my grandmother. I'm paranoid about the tumors, though benign, that they found in my mother's breast. I'm paranoid about the tumor they found in her brain. I'm paranoid about the heart problems and diabetes that run rampant in my family.

Why it's taken me this long to get paranoid, I don't know, but I'm embracing the paranoia. Because it's the paranoia that's going to motivate me to save my life.

Tired

2010-10-04T16:49:00.003+11:00

It looks like spring has finally sprung in Melbourne! We actually had humidity today due to a light ran after a weekend of sun. I'm never a fan on humidity, but I'd almost forgotten what it was!

I've been trying to get out and enjoy the sunshine while it's happening. It's gone a long way to helping my mood improve. But, at least I know that I do get SADD and will be prepared next winter with vitamin D tablets.

Unfortunately, other things in my life aren't going that great. The Bloke has been very supportive and friends have, too, but the situation is pretty sucktastic. Apparently I'm not supposed to give a damn. Who knew? I missed the memo.

All of it really has me contemplating - and I'm not the only one. In the end it'll all work out for the best, but it sucks to be in it at the moment.

Life goes on, I'm tired and cranberry vodka.

Anyone have a martini?

Friday Funny - Man, Dog, Crow Fetch

2010-10-01T13:42:00.002+10:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-29T11:52:00.003+10:00

Same Old, Same Old

2010-09-28T14:47:00.003+10:00

Melbourne is doing its usual rain, sun, rain, sun, hail, rain, rain in the sunshine, overcast stuff today. At least the brief periods of sunshine mean that spring is trying to, well, spring.

I think I'm getting a little boring here. Maybe because my fourth year anniversary of arriving in Australia is coming up. I'm so used to the darn place that I'm not sure what to write about anymore.

Eh, who am I kidding? There will always be weird things to discover in this country.

Like many people, I am thoroughly annoyed with the AFL draw rule for the Grand Final (rule: if it's a draw, both teams come back the next Saturday). It's such an obvious grab for money that it disgusts me AND the players. Well, they might be disgusted for other reasons, but there was much disgust to be... discussed.

:)

I am actually in the process of narrowing down my massive amount of blogs so I can spend more time concentrating on the ones that are important to me. Sure, I love all my blogs (my babies!), but I'm to the point where I need to give some of them up and focus or give up my dream of being a published novelist.

No contest, really.

I know I'm keeping this one, at least, so it's a beginning point. It's hard to decide between the others, though.

Have you ever had to make hard decisions related to time management so you could make bigger dreams happen?

100 Best First Lines From Novels

2010-09-27T16:42:00.000+10:00

Found at Well-Mannered Frivolity.

This list is courtesy of American Book Review.

1. Call me Ishmael. — Herman Melville, Moby-Dick (1851)

2. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. — Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

3. A screaming comes across the sky. —Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow (1973)

4. Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. —Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude (1967; trans. Gregory Rabassa)

5. Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. —Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita (1955)

6. Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. —Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina (1877; trans. Constance Garnett)

7. River run, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs. — James Joyce, Finnegans Wake (1939)

8. It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. — George Orwell, 1984 (1949)

9. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (1859)

10. I am an invisible man. — Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man (1952)

11. The Miss Lonelyhearts of the New York Post-Dispatch (Are you in trouble?—Do-you-need-advice?—Write-to-Miss-Lonelyhearts-and-she-will-help-you) sat at his desk and stared at a piece of white cardboard. — Nathanael West, Miss Lonelyhearts (1933)

12. You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. — Mark Twain, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885)

13. Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested. — Franz Kafka, The Trial (1925; trans. Breon Mitchell)

14. You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel, If on a winter's night a traveler. — Italo Calvino, If on a winter's night a traveler (1979; trans. William Weaver)

15. The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new. — Samuel Beckett, Murphy (1938)

16. If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. — J. D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye (1951)

17. Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo. — James Joyce, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (1916)

18. This is the saddest story I have ever heard. — Ford Madox Ford, The Good Soldier (1915)

19. I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me; had they duly considered how much depended upon what they were then doing;—that not only the production of a rational Being was concerned in it, but that possibly the happy formation and temperature of his body, perhaps his genius and the very cast of his mind;—and, for aught they knew to the contrary, even the fortunes of his whole house might take their turn from the humours and dispositions which were then uppermost:—Had they duly weighed and considered all this, and proceeded accordingly,—I am verily persuaded I should have made a quite different figure in the world, from that, in which the reader is likely to see me. — Laurence Sterne, Tristram Shandy (1759–1767)

20. Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. — Charles Dickens, David Copperfield (1850)

21. Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. — James Joyce, Ulysses (1922)

22. It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. —Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

23. One summer afternoon Mrs. Oedipa Maas came home from a Tupperware party whose hostess had put perhaps too much kirsch in the fondue to find that she, Oedipa, had been named executor, or she supposed executrix, of the estate of one Pierce Inverarity, a California real estate mogul who had once lost two million dollars in his spare time but still had assets numerous and tangled enough to make the job of sorting it all out more than honorary. — Thomas Pynchon, The Crying of Lot 49 (1966)

24. It was a wrong number that started it, the telephone ringing three times in the dead of night, and the voice on the other end asking for someone he was not. —Paul Auster, City of Glass (1985)

25. Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, I could see them hitting. — William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury (1929)

26. 124 was spiteful. — Toni Morrison, Beloved (1987)

27. Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing. — Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote (1605; trans. Edith Grossman)

28. Mother died today. — Albert Camus, The Stranger (1942; trans. Stuart Gilbert)

29. Every summer Lin Kong returned to Goose Village to divorce his wife, Shuyu. — Ha Jin, Waiting (1999)

30. The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel. —William Gibson, Neuromancer (1984)

31. I am a sick man . . . I am a spiteful man. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground (1864; trans. Michael R. Katz)

32. Where now? Who now? When now? — Samuel Beckett, The Unnamable (1953; trans. Patrick Bowles)

33. Once an angry man dragged his father along the ground through his own orchard. "Stop!" cried the groaning old man at last, "Stop! I did not drag my father beyond this tree." — Gertrude Stein, The Making of Americans (1925)

34. In a sense, I am Jacob Horner. — John Barth, The End of the Road (1958)

35. It was like so, but wasn't. — Richard Powers, Galatea 2.2 (1995)

36. —Money . . . in a voice that rustled. — William Gaddis, J R (1975)

37. Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself. — Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway (1925)

38. All this happened, more or less. — Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)

39. They shoot the white girl first. — Toni Morrison, Paradise (1998)

40. For a long time, I went to bed early. — Marcel Proust, Swann's Way (1913; trans. Lydia Davis)

41. The moment one learns English, complications set in. — Felipe Alfau, Chromos (1990)

42. Dr. Weiss, at forty, knew that her life had been ruined by literature. — Anita Brookner, The Debut (1981)

43. I was the shadow of the waxwing slain / By the false azure in the windowpane; — Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire (1962)

44. Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. — Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God (1937)

45. I had the story, bit by bit, from various people, and, as generally happens in such cases, each time it was a different story. — Edith Wharton, Ethan Frome (1911)

46. Ages ago, Alex, Allen and Alva arrived at Antibes, and Alva allowing all, allowing anyone, against Alex's admonition, against Allen's angry assertion: another African amusement . . . anyhow, as all argued, an awesome African army assembled and arduously advanced against an African anthill, assiduously annihilating ant after ant, and afterward, Alex astonishingly accuses Albert as also accepting Africa's antipodal ant annexation. — Walter Abish, Alphabetical Africa (1974)

47. There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. —C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (1952)

48. He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish. — Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea (1952)

49. It was the day my grandmother exploded. — Iain M. Banks, The Crow Road (1992)

50. I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974. — Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex (2002)

51. Elmer Gantry was drunk. — Sinclair Lewis, Elmer Gantry (1927)

52. We started dying before the snow, and like the snow, we continued to fall. —Louise Erdrich, Tracks (1988)

53. It was a pleasure to burn. — Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (1953)

54. A story has no beginning or end; arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead. — Graham Greene, The End of the Affair (1951)

55. Having placed in my mouth sufficient bread for three minutes' chewing, I withdrew my powers of sensual perception and retired into the privacy of my mind, my eyes and face assuming a vacant and preoccupied expression. — Flann O'Brien, At Swim-Two-Birds (1939)

56. I was born in the Year 1632, in the City of York, of a good Family, tho' not of that Country, my Father being a Foreigner of Bremen, who settled first at Hull; He got a good Estate by Merchandise, and leaving off his Trade, lived afterward at York, from whence he had married my Mother, whose Relations were named Robinson, a very good Family in that Country, and from whom I was called Robinson Kreutznaer; but by the usual Corruption of Words in England, we are now called, nay we call our selves, and write our Name Crusoe, and so my Companions always call'd me. — Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe (1719)

57. In the beginning, sometimes I left messages in the street. — David Markson, Wittgenstein's Mistress (1988)

58. Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor dress. — George Eliot, Middlemarch (1872)

59. It was love at first sight. — Joseph Heller, Catch-22 (1961)

60. What if this young woman, who writes such bad poems, in competition with her husband, whose poems are equally bad, should stretch her remarkably long and well-made legs out before you, so that her skirt slips up to the tops of her stockings? — Gilbert Sorrentino, Imaginative Qualities of Actual Things (1971)

61. I have never begun a novel with more misgiving. — W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge (1944)

62. Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person. — Anne Tyler, Back When We Were Grownups (2001)

63. The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children's games from the beginning, and will probably do it till the end, which is a nuisance for the few people who grow up. — G. K. Chesterton, The Napoleon of Notting Hill (1904)

64. In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. — F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (1925)

65. You better not never tell nobody but God. — Alice Walker, The Color Purple (1982)

66. "To be born again," sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, "first you have to die." — Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses (1988)

67. It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn't know what I was doing in New York. — Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar (1963)

68. Most really pretty girls have pretty ugly feet, and so does Mindy Metalman, Lenore notices, all of a sudden. — David Foster Wallace, The Broom of the System (1987)

69. If I am out of my mind, it's all right with me, thought Moses Herzog. — Saul Bellow, Herzog (1964)

70. Francis Marion Tarwater's uncle had been dead for only half a day when the boy got too drunk to finish digging his grave and a Negro named Buford Munson, who had come to get a jug filled, had to finish it and drag the body from the breakfast table where it was still sitting and bury it in a decent and Christian way, with the sign of its Saviour at the head of the grave and enough dirt on top to keep the dogs from digging it up. — Flannery O'Connor, The Violent Bear it Away (1960)

71. Granted: I am an inmate of a mental hospital; my keeper is watching me, he never lets me out of his sight; there's a peephole in the door, and my keeper's eye is the shade of brown that can never see through a blue-eyed type like me. —GŸnter Grass, The Tin Drum (1959; trans. Ralph Manheim)

72. When Dick Gibson was a little boy he was not Dick Gibson. — Stanley Elkin, The Dick Gibson Show (1971)

73. Hiram Clegg, together with his wife Emma and four friends of the faith from Randolph Junction, were summoned by the Spirit and Mrs. Clara Collins, widow of the beloved Nazarene preacher Ely Collins, to West Condon on the weekend of the eighteenth and nineteenth of April, there to await the End of the World. —Robert Coover, The Origin of the Brunists (1966)

74. She waited, Kate Croy, for her father to come in, but he kept her unconscionably, and there were moments at which she showed herself, in the glass over the mantel, a face positively pale with the irritation that had brought her to the point of going away without sight of him. — Henry James, The Wings of the Dove (1902)

75. In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains. — Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms (1929)

76. "Take my camel, dear," said my Aunt Dot, as she climbed down from this animal on her return from High Mass. — Rose Macaulay, The Towers of Trebizond (1956)

77. He was an inch, perhaps two, under six feet, powerfully built, and he advanced straight at you with a slight stoop of the shoulders, head forward, and a fixed from-under stare which made you think of a charging bull. — Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim (1900)

78. The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. — L. P. Hartley, The Go-Between (1953)

79. On my naming day when I come 12 I gone front spear and kilt a wyld boar he parbly ben the las wyld pig on the Bundel Downs any how there hadnt ben none for a long time befor him nor I aint looking to see none agen. — Russell Hoban, Riddley Walker (1980)

80. Justice?—You get justice in the next world, in this world you have the law. —William Gaddis, A Frolic of His Own (1994)

81. Vaughan died yesterday in his last car-crash. — J. G. Ballard, Crash (1973)

82. I write this sitting in the kitchen sink. — Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle (1948)

83. "When your mama was the geek, my dreamlets," Papa would say, "she made the nipping off of noggins such a crystal mystery that the hens themselves yearned toward her, waltzing around her, hypnotized with longing." — Katherine Dunn, Geek Love (1983)

84. In the last years of the Seventeenth Century there was to be found among the fops and fools of the London coffee-houses one rangy, gangling flitch called Ebenezer Cooke, more ambitious than talented, and yet more talented than prudent, who, like his friends-in-folly, all of whom were supposed to be educating at Oxford or Cambridge, had found the sound of Mother English more fun to game with than her sense to labor over, and so rather than applying himself to the pains of scholarship, had learned the knack of versifying, and ground out quires of couplets after the fashion of the day, afroth with Joves and Jupiters, aclang with jarring rhymes, and string-taut with similes stretched to the snapping-point. —John Barth, The Sot-Weed Factor (1960)

85. When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon. —James Crumley, The Last Good Kiss (1978)

86. It was just noon that Sunday morning when the sheriff reached the jail with Lucas Beauchamp though the whole town (the whole county too for that matter) had known since the night before that Lucas had killed a white man. — William Faulkner, Intruder in the Dust (1948)

87. I, Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus This-that-and-the-other (for I shall not trouble you yet with all my titles) who was once, and not so long ago either, known to my friends and relatives and associates as "Claudius the Idiot," or "That Claudius," or "Claudius the Stammerer," or "Clau-Clau-Claudius" or at best as "Poor Uncle Claudius," am now about to write this strange history of my life; starting from my earliest childhood and continuing year by year until I reach the fateful point of change where, some eight years ago, at the age of fifty-one, I suddenly found myself caught in what I may call the "golden predicament" from which I have never since become disentangled. — Robert Graves, I, Claudius (1934)

88. Of all the things that drive men to sea, the most common disaster, I've come to learn, is women. — Charles Johnson, Middle Passage (1990)

89. I am an American, Chicago born—Chicago, that somber city—and go at things as I have taught myself, free-style, and will make the record in my own way: first to knock, first admitted; sometimes an innocent knock, sometimes a not so innocent. —Saul Bellow, The Adventures of Augie March (1953)

90. The towers of Zenith aspired above the morning mist; austere towers of steel and cement and limestone, sturdy as cliffs and delicate as silver rods. — Sinclair Lewis, Babbitt (1922)

91. I will tell you in a few words who I am: lover of the hummingbird that darts to the flower beyond the rotted sill where my feet are propped; lover of bright needlepoint and the bright stitching fingers of humorless old ladies bent to their sweet and infamous designs; lover of parasols made from the same puffy stuff as a young girl's underdrawers; still lover of that small naval boat which somehow survived the distressing years of my life between her decks or in her pilothouse; and also lover of poor dear black Sonny, my mess boy, fellow victim and confidant, and of my wife and child. But most of all, lover of my harmless and sanguine self. — John Hawkes, Second Skin (1964)

92. He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. —Raphael Sabatini, Scaramouche (1921)

93. Psychics can see the color of time it's blue. — Ronald Sukenick, Blown Away (1986)

94. In the town, there were two mutes and they were always together. — Carson McCullers, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (1940)

95. Once upon a time two or three weeks ago, a rather stubborn and determined middle-aged man decided to record for posterity, exactly as it happened, word by word and step by step, the story of another man for indeed what is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal, a somewhat paranoiac fellow unmarried, unattached, and quite irresponsible, who had decided to lock himself in a room a furnished room with a private bath, cooking facilities, a bed, a table, and at least one chair, in New York City, for a year 365 days to be precise, to write the story of another person—a shy young man about of 19 years old—who, after the war the Second World War, had come to America the land of opportunities from France under the sponsorship of his uncle—a journalist, fluent in five languages—who himself had come to America from Europe Poland it seems, though this was not clearly established sometime during the war after a series of rather gruesome adventures, and who, at the end of the war, wrote to the father his cousin by marriage of the young man whom he considered as a nephew, curious to know if he the father and his family had survived the German occupation, and indeed was deeply saddened to learn, in a letter from the young man—a long and touching letter written in English, not by the young man, however, who did not know a damn word of English, but by a good friend of his who had studied English in school—that his parents both his father and mother and his two sisters one older and the other younger than he had been deported they were Jewish to a German concentration camp Auschwitz probably and never returned, no doubt having been exterminated deliberately X * X * X * X, and that, therefore, the young man who was now an orphan, a displaced person, who, during the war, had managed to escape deportation by working very hard on a farm in Southern France, would be happy and grateful to be given the opportunity to come to America that great country he had heard so much about and yet knew so little about to start a new life, possibly go to school, learn a trade, and become a good, loyal citizen. —Raymond Federman, Double or Nothing (1971)

96. Time is not a line but a dimension, like the dimensions of space. — Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye (1988)

97. He—for there could be no doubt of his sex, though the fashion of the time did something to disguise it—was in the act of slicing at the head of a Moor which swung from the rafters. — Virginia Woolf, Orlando (1928)

98. High, high above the North Pole, on the first day of 1969, two professors of English Literature approached each other at a combined velocity of 1200 miles per hour. — David Lodge, Changing Places (1975)

99. They say when trouble comes close ranks, and so the white people did. — Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea (1966)

100. The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting. — Stephen Crane, The Red Badge of Courage (1895)

The Things We Say Wrong

2010-09-20T12:27:00.001+10:00

Boag's Draught: From The Pure Waters Of Tasmania

2010-09-17T11:56:00.001+10:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-15T14:01:00.002+10:00

Food for Thought

2010-09-13T13:01:00.001+10:00

There are times when I sit back and wonder how I managed to survive growing up in the States. I was addicted to processed food, the Easy Mac queen, and the microwave was my best friend. Crisps and cheese dip from a can were the regular additions to movie nights. I rarely drank water, instead opting for some power drink or soda.

I drank a lot of milk, though. At least there is that.

I loved my fish fingers and my microwave soup. Cheese from a spray can was always fun, loading up a single Ritz cracker with a mountain of the orange stuff. It’s hard to believe I had any standards, but I never could get used to scalloped potatoes from a box.

Last night as I cooked chicken souvlaki with fresh garlic, onion and chicken fillets from the butcher, I felt sad that I couldn’t have made something a little more elaborate for dinner. More flavours, perhaps, or a little more variety in the meal than just a souvlaki.

‘Just’ a souvlaki.

I caught myself mid-thought and gave myself a hearty mental slap. Just a souvlaki? When I lived in the US, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what a souvlaki was, much less actually make you one. It’s as if, in that moment, my standards for myself had flown through the roof and I’d forgotten how much I’ve grown over the past nearly four years.

Since moving to Australia and, without transition, converting my diet to fresh food and heaps of water (and experiencing what I call ‘The Great Australian Detox’ for it), my world has changed. Food has become my art and my passion. Creating a beautiful meal is like the thrill of creating a new world of fiction for a novel. For me, a meal is a combination of not just flavours but also of colour, arrangement, texture and the love I put into it.

A lot has changed since spray cheese in a can.

I work with a handicap as well. I have only one functional sinus and a very lacking sense of smell because of it. But I have never let that stop me from pursuing my passion.

Call it a higher power, fate or simply good luck, but I believe I was meant to come to Melbourne. The café culture and amazing assortment of international cuisines waiting to be tasted inspire me in a way nothing else can. I proudly bear the label of foodie and have even become a little bit of a food snob, to be honest. I have a rule to try everything once and have found it to be a good way to live life as well as experience food.

Food fascinates me and Melbourne is my new playground. Margaret Fulton is my main teacher through her encyclopaedia of cookery, but the city is filled with many mentors. I’ve done my native born Australian friends proud by making ANZAC bikkies like gram used to make, lovely lamingtons and even a mint slice or two. I think I’ll always be known for my brownies, though.

Recently a friend and I had a brief chat about how far I have come in the short time I have been here, and how I’ll have a great autobiography to write some decades down the road. Honestly, I think I will, too. For now, though, I will be enjoying being the equivalent of a four year old in the Melbourne food world with everything new, fresh and exciting.

And I’ll stop being so hard on myself about the souvlaki.

Friday Funny - Asimov's Box

2010-09-10T18:53:00.002+10:00

Okay, so this isn't going to be all that funny, but he is cute! We had a box left over from shopping the other day and decided to let Asimov keep it as a toy. Needless to say, he loves it. He's playing with it as I type this.

I apologize for the quality of the video. I was on my side with my digital camera at the time.

Enjoy! (PS. He's six and a half months old for anyone who is curious.)

Wordless Wednesday - Star Wars Style

2010-09-08T11:35:00.003+10:00

AussieCon4 Pics

2010-09-07T11:27:00.002+10:00

I didn't get many pictures, unfortunately. And even some of the ones I did get, some picture participants requested no Facebook/blogs/etc. So here we are!

Opening ceremony speech...

Opening ceremony where fan fund winners, etc, are introduced.

Panel on foundlings and orphans and their popularity in fiction.

Panel on 'thinking in trilogies' and the role of trilogies in fantasy fiction.

View from the 16th floor of the Hilton, where I stayed with a friend for part of the conference.

Bookish love...

Friday Funny - Pistols at Dawn! Or Not...

2010-09-03T12:12:00.001+10:00

Life is Strange

2010-08-31T15:05:00.004+10:00

Life is weird sometimes.

After finally mustering up the courage and deciding that I was in the right place to do it, I finally sent a letter to my eldest brother. I told him the truth. I told him about the stuff I was going through - namely at the hands of the woman who gave birth to me - and how I left because I no longer felt safe.

I hesitated just once before putting the letter in the mailbox. No matter what it brings, right now I feel amazed and relieved. Whether or not he believes me (I have this fear of people not believing me), I know that right now I am proud of what I did. I won't regret it.

And, having finally done that, another voice from the past has come back into my life.

Someone who abandoned me shortly before I left for Australia (because I mentioned that I was leaving) recently sent me an email. It was to an old account, so the email came about a week ago. But I just read it today.

My defenses are up because I've been too hurt in the past to let anyone back in easily, but I'm still feeling gobsmacked over being contacted at all. This is a person who has wanted nothing to do with me for nearly four years.

At the moment, I am trying to concentrate on AussieCon, but I'm wondering what other strange things life will bring if I continue on this path of not letting fear stop me from doing what I think is right...

Friday Funny - Kitties!

2010-08-27T14:07:00.001+10:00

Public Transport and the Introvert

2010-08-26T15:53:00.003+10:00

Public transport used to scare me so much. The thought of getting on a train and possibly getting off at the wrong place only to have to call the Bloke...

...who had only been living in Australia his entire life and could have told me in three seconds how to get to wherever I wanted to go.

The first time I took the bus, I was forced to do so by a no-so-helpful Connex guy who didn't understand the words I WANT TO TAKE THE TRAIN.

Now, things are changing. I'm changing. Yesterday, I took the bus of my own free will to a shopping centre that I wouldn't have been able to get to on foot.

And it was good.

I'm finally starting to see the light as far as buses go. Trams only go through the city and inner suburbs. Trains are even more limited. Buses? Buses open up a wider

How about you? Do you ever take the bus?

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-26T13:43:00.003+10:00

Going to WorldCon

2010-08-24T08:44:00.002+10:00

AUSSIECON 4 – otherwise known as the 68th World Science Fiction Convention – is happening September 2nd – 6th, 2010 in Melbourne, Australia and I get to go!

Sure, I’ll be broke for the rest of 2010, but it should be worth it.

My awesomely awesome friend Nyssa and I were both bemoaning our ‘not enough money to go to con’ fates when a certain literary angel bestowed some funds upon Nyssa. Because of that, Nyssa was able to afford to fly from Sydney and go halfsies on a room with me in exchange for airport transport and a night’s stay at Casa de InkyBlots.

Like I said, it’s made things tight financially, but if I get just two silver tours from the con, then I’ll have covered what I spent.

Have I mentioned I’m a virtual book tour coordinator?

So, yes, a lot of the con will involve me with my professional face on, but I know I will have heaps of fun as well. And, of course, the writer in me is absolutely gaga at the prospect of spending so much time around authors, agents, other wannabe novelists and pure fans.

Is anyone else who reads this blog going?

Meme of Reading

2010-08-23T16:21:00.003+10:00

Something I don't share here very often (because I have a blog about it) is my love of reading. However, I also love memes, so I figured I would cross-post here.

From Booking Through Thursday

1. Favorite childhood book?
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

2. What are you reading right now?
There are a couple of books... The one getting the most focus right now is The Ten Commandments of Losing Weight by Arlene Normand (I know what you're thinking, but it's a decent read.)

3. What books do you have on request at the library?
Nothing at the moment

4. Bad book habit?
Hanging onto books I don't like. Why keep them? I'm trying to 'polish' down my collection to only books I adore.

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
Four books: The one I mentioned I'm reading now, The Beck Diet for Life (hoping to pick up a few good tips), The Art of Raw Living Food by Doreen Virtue and Body Intelligence by Dr. Edward Abramson. (Can you tell I have a theme?)

6. Do you have an e-reader?
No. I wouldn't mind one, but someone would have to buy it for me.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
I would normally answer one at a time, but experience teaches me that I usually have more than one on the go.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
I'm a bit more organized with reading and actually take the time to do it rather than letting the time find me (which it rarely does).

9. Least favorite book you read this year (so far?)
Hm. Probably Italian for Beginners by Kristin Harmel. You can read the review for my nitpicks.

10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?
If I can go by the past year rather than 'in 2010' I'll go with The Cult of the Amateur: How Today’s Internet is Killing Our Culture and Assaulting Our Economy By Andrew Keen. I found it just plain fascinating.

11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
Regularly. It comes with the territory when you review for people.

12. What is your reading comfort zone?
When I was younger - epic fantasy and historical romance. Now... anything with the romance element.

13. Can you read on the bus?
Yes, but I prefer not to. Public transport is my time for cooking up my own stories.

14. Favorite place to read?
In my recliner.

15. What is your policy on book lending?
I don't have a policy, but I'll only do it with people I really trust - in general and trust to take care of my books.

16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
No. Do it enough and the corner will come off.

17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
No. I tried once as an experiment, but I prefer taking notes on a note card that doubles as a bookmark.

18. Not even with text books?
Nope.

19. What is your favorite language to read in?
English. I'm not proficient enough in any other language to read books in those languages.

20. What makes you love a book?
Characters and romance, mostly. A place can really take me, too, but that has only happened on a couple occasions (Red Dust by Fleur McDonald...)

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
I love plenty of books, but I don't often do a lot of recommending. When I do, it's because a book make me think and/or changed my views on something. For example, the Ender series by Orson Scott Card.

22. Favorite genre?
These days, I really don't know. I read so much of this and that.

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?)
Steampunk and urban fantasy. I've heard a heap about both but read little to nothing in those genres.

Favorite biography?
Another tough one. Stephen King's On Writing pops into mind, though that was only part biography.

25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
Certainly. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

26. Favorite cookbook?
Margaret Fulton's Encyclopedia of Cookery.

27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?
Inspirational... I haven't finished it, but The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance really got me thinking not far into the book.

28. Favorite reading snack?
Strawberries.

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.
I don't really have one. I tend to avoid over-hyped books.

30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?
A lot, but only because there are now so many critics out there. You'll always end up agreeing with someone if everyone is giving an opinion.

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
It's a necessity of life. You can't like every book you read. So long as you can fairly and even-handedly express why you don't like a book, you'll be fine. Or, you should be, in an ideal world where authors realized that bad reviews are an opportunity to make their future work better rather than taking a bad review of their book as a personal insult.

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose?
Assuming that if I can read it, I can speak it as well, Japanese. I love anime and graphic novels, but I'm at a complete loss with the symbols. On the other hand, Egyptian would be brilliant.

33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?
Probably The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson simply because it is one of the few hyped books I've read (because it came so highly recommended from a friend) and because the book is bloody massive.

34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?
I can't think of anything I'm too nervous to read at the moment.

35. Favorite Poet?
My husband.

36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
Usually two to four.

37. How often have you returned book to the library unread?
Never unread. On a few occasions, unfinished.

38. Favorite fictional character?
Polgara the Sorceress from a book by the same name by David and Leigh Eddings.

39. Favorite fictional villain?
No my favourite so much as the one that always sticks in my head when villians are mentioned: Starlaughter Sunsoar from Sara Douglass' The Wayfarer Redemption. Nutty as they come and literally tears people apart.

40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?
Usually none, as hotel rooms are my muse, but if any... Something light and fluffy or non-fiction (being in a good, relaxed mood makes learning much easier).

41. The longest I’ve gone without reading.
Probably a year, if we're not counting the newspaper. I think I was a little burned out after uni, moving to Australia, starting up a new life, etc.

42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
Memoirs about child abuse or books that involve detailed child abuse. I usually manage to avoid them all, but sometimes it pops up here and there. I can't name a specific book right at the moment, though.

43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
Everything else on my to-do list.

44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
Howl's Moving Castle, which is strange because they changed so much of it.

45. Most disappointing film adaptation?
I know there are plenty to choose from, but nothing comes to mind at the moment.

46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?
$100. I bought my husband the collector's edition of Footrot Flatts.

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
Never. My habit is synopsis, first few pages.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
A topic I couldn't handle reading or just plain didn't want to read, a story going nowhere, something totally unfitting of the book and/or completely stupid happening...

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
I would like to...

50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
I'll keep them if I like them and can't bear to part with them. Otherwise, they go on Bookcrossing.com or on my giveaway shelf.

51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?
Anything overly hyped. Still avoiding all the Twilight books.

52. Name a book that made you angry.
I don't want to name it because of the reason behind my anger, but there was a book published by the head of a small publishing company that was so badly formatted that is pissed me off to no end. Different fonts, paragraphs running together... And this wasn't some goof trying to self-publish - it was from a company. Ack. It made me so angry to see such utter disregard for book form and for the readers.

53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?
The Millennium Trilogy by Steig Larsson.

54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?
I expected to like Queen Victoria: Demon Slayer more than I did.

55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?
Any book that I learn from.

Friday Funny - Creature Comforts

2010-08-20T15:05:00.001+10:00

Interviews conducted with people and then the audio is set to claymation...

Wordless Wednesday - Of a Different Sort...

2010-08-18T17:22:00.002+10:00

Interview with Tom Graneau - Author of 'Renters Win, Home Owners Lose: Revealing the Biggest Scam in America '

2010-08-17T15:52:00.001+10:00

Hello, Mr. Graneau, and welcome to The New Australian. To say that owning a home in Australia is a hot button topic would be to put it lightly. Between the investors and the banks, many Australians are feeling screwed over by the system in one way or another. But you’re here today to give some hope to the renters (including myself) who have always thought owning a home to be the better investment.

Q: Thank you for joining me today. Before we begin, would you mind introducing yourself to the readers?

A: I was born in Dominica, a small island in the Caribbean with a population of roughly 70,000 people. At seventeen years old, my mother and I immigrated to the United States. At age twenty-five, I joined the military and spent fourteen years in the U.S. Navy. Most recently, I’ve spent roughly ten years as a financial management coach, conducting workshops and private consultations for people in the military, government agencies, and the civilian community. In 2005, I published my first book, Are You Financially Checkmate?, a project that took almost four years to complete.

Q: Can you briefly explain how owning your own home puts you on the losing side? Doesn’t it depend on where you live as to whether it’s better to rent or buy?

A: Housing is an expense we all must pay. The reward is the benefit of having a place to live we call home. Renters pay the monthly rent, some utilities, and no more. Home owners, on the other hand, approach the issue as an investment. They borrow money (the mortgage) to pay for the home and become legally responsible for the property. For the anticipated profit (the appreciated value on the home), they must pay the cost of the borrowed money (the interest on the loan), property tax, and home owner’s insurance. Over time, theses costs alone will wipe away any anticipated gain.

Meanwhile, they must maintain the property for sales appeal. When the cost of improvement, repairs, maintenance, and remodeling are brought into the equation, most home owners will walk away with a net zero percent return or less on the so called “investment.” In some case, it may appear that they made some money. But the apparent profit is minuscule compared to the money spent on the property during occupancy.

If these individuals had continued renting and decided to invest the extra money “wasted” on the home, the numbers show that they would be more profitable, potentially earning hundreds of thousands of dollars within the same period of home ownership. Thus, it goes without saying, why throw away the extra money on a home, when one can choose an ideal location to rent, with all the comfort and convenience of owning, and become wildly successful at the same time? All that’s required is a change of attitude.

Q: Australia is home to many ethnicities, some of which go by an older practice of home buying. A large group gets together, pools their resources and buys a house for one of the families. Then they save up and do the same again for the next family, and so on. Cash only, no loans needed. Is this a good way to get past the scam?

A: Yes. One of the most deceptive component of home buying is the mortgage. When this factor is removed from the home buying equation, there is a good chance for a profit. Though the owner will incur costs along the way such as property tax, home owner’s insurance, etc., the intrinsic value of the property will offset these costs to allow some gain.

There is a caveat to this option, however. The home owner should avoid taking loans (home equity line of credit, for example) against the property. Borrowed money collateralized on a residential property is counterproductive for the owner’s long-term, financial security.

Q: Another popular trend in Australia is to buy one block and build two houses, living in one and renting the other. Is the renter still the winner in this situation, or is this a possible defence against the scam?

A: This type of housing arrangement is creative, and it can be profitable, particularly if the property has no loans against it. But notice that the dynamics of the home ownership system have changed. Part of the property is commercialized, which gets into the investment aspect of real estate—a totally different set of circumstance, which Renters Win, Home Owners Lose intentionally avoided.

In any case, the one who rents the other half of the building still retains all the freedom, flexibility, and leverages of a renter. After paying rent and some utilities, all costs are passed onto the home owner, leaving the renter free to invest in other areas of profits. Meanwhile, the home owner is left to reconcile the differences between the profit and loss of the operation, a critical accounting step few home owners consider after the sale of a home.

Q: I can understand how renting would be better than owning homes, but do you ever find that renters are more vulnerable to market manipulation than homeowners? Homeowners are at the mercy of interest rate manipulations, but renters (as we’ve experienced here in Victoria) are at the mercy of foreign ‘investors’ who buy and keep homes tenant-less to drive up rental demand and prices.

A: The rate of rent is usually controlled by the market itself. In other words, one landlord cannot arbitrarily demand excessive rent beyond what the market will tolerate. At the same time, rent will periodically rise, partly because of inflation, cost of amenities, demand for certain areas, etc.

However, when the cost of living is compared between the average renter and home owner over a period of time (seven years, for instance), the home owner will have spent more money on the home with no extra benefits. In some cases, he or she may walk a away with some cash after the sales of the property, but the profit and loss statement may tell a completely different story.

Q: Is there a way to dismantle the scam? What needs to be changed?

A: Yes. The purchasing of a home comes with a long, established network of beneficiaries including local, state, and federal governments. For this reason, it seems that everyone makes money on the property, except the home owner. Undoing the network is virtually impossible.

On the other hand, when people are educated about the truth and decide to change the statusquo, positive things happen. For example, if people choose to rent and invest the extra money that would otherwise be wasted on a home, they would become wealthier as a result.

If this idea (renting by choice to become wealthy) begins to take root, the demand for homes would drop, which would ultimately initiate additional positive changes. Think of it, people would actually have money in the bank, and personal assets (not debt) would rise, which would be better for self, family, and the economy.

Q: Do you think there will be any change to the system any time soon?

A: No. changing the status quo will take time. However, instead of thinking about changing such a large influential network, people who are exposed to this idea need to avoid the scam altogether. They need to focus on improving their own individual and family circumstances. For instance, after purchasing three homes in a 30-year period, I am now a proud renter and plan to keep it this way indefinitely.

Q: Is there any point currently at which owning your home is better than renting?

A: The ideal situation would be to purchase a home without a mortgage. One can potentially make a profit when the property is sold, assuming that the market value does not drop below the purchase price. Keep in mind, however, that the government still retains eminent control over the property. In which case, a lien can be placed on it with the intent to sell and collect any unpaid taxes, leaving the owner in a vulnerable position.

The other wining option is to purchase a home with the intent to sell it immediately (days or months) later to another buyer for a profit—a lucrative real estate idea that many investors have put to use over the years. But then, that would negate the whole concept of “home ownership,” which is the point of discussion, and the envious goal for many.

Q: Is there anything else you would like to add?

A: Yes: It is generally recommended that people should take money from savings, 401(k) plan, IRA account, etc., for a down payment on a home. I wouldn’t recommend it. Here is why: The money in a 401(k) plan, IRA account, or any other savings program belongs to the person who “owns” it.

When the cash is withdrawn and placed on the home, the individual loses control and ownership of the funds. It gets locked in a property that belongs to someone else—the lien holder. At best, the money is unusable. The only way to retrieve it is through a reverse mortgage or home equity loan, both of which are debt instruments that add more financial burden on the home owner. Cash on-hand should be kept separately from the house. Better yet, it should be placed in a safe investment as liquid assets to counter some of the losses experienced in the home.

Thank you so much for your time.

My pleasure. Thanks for the opportunity to speak with you. Here is one of my websites: http://www.renters-win.com/

Guest Blogger Tom Graneau on Renters Win, Home Owners Lose: A World-Wind Reality

2010-08-16T15:41:00.004+10:00

Please join me in welcoming guest blogger Tom Graneau. I have asked him to stop here today and tomorrow to talk about renting versus home ownership and his book Renters Win, Home Owners Lose: Revealing the Biggest Scam in America. As real estate is a hot button topic in Australia - especially in Victoria, I was excited to hear his views.

***

People buy homes for various reasons. According to the Federal National Mortgage Association, a government-sponsored enterprise also known as Fannie Mae, 43 percent gave safety as the reason for purchasing a home; 33 percent said that proximity to good schools was their number one reason; and 70 percent admitted that financial investment was their main motivation, down from 83 percent in 2003. It goes without saying that financial incentive is the number one motivation for home ownership in America.

This is not surprising when one considers the cooperative effort that goes into promoting the concept. The real estate industry, including banks, mortgage companies, the government, and various other organizations have come together with one voice, claiming that home ownership is the most reliable path to financial prosperity. Consequently, Americans are preoccupied over the idea of owning a home, thinking that it holds the key to their financial success.

However, when the long-term benefits of home ownership is examined closely in terms of financial gain, there is none. Statistical facts and historic trends show that nothing consumes more of people’s hard-earned income than the homes they buy.

Furthermore, some of the most cash-depleted people in the United States are home owners, some of whom have purchased more than one home. For instance, more than 85 percent of the 78 million baby boomers in the U.S. have bought and sold several homes. Yet, close to 90 percent of them are broke. The logical question is, where is the wealth earned from the home. Additionally, more than 2/3 (78 percent) of American families are home owners. Nonetheless, the majority of us are strapped for cash, have little or no retirement savings, and are deep in debt.

What is wrong with the financial claim tied to home ownership in the United States? Renters Win, Home Owners Lose: Revealing the Biggest Scam in America unravels the mystery behind the push for home ownership. All told, the whole idea is a scam that benefits the super-wealthy people in this country while leaving the majority scraping to pay a mortgage for pennies or less.

Interestingly, the book focuses on home ownership in America, but the troubling issues associated with home buying are not isolated to Americans. The problem crosses international boundaries. From America to Spain, other than the differences in currency and cultural practices, the home buying process is the same. Since real estate is the most expensive commodity in every culture, those who don’t have buckets of cash to pay for a home must rely on a mortgage. It is this initial step that begins the negative, snowball effective that jeopardizes the long-term financial success of the home owner.

Realistically, banks and other mortgage companies are not in the business of watching home owners become wealthy. They are in business to make money through asset accumulation. No other debt instrument has been more lucrative for banks and investors than home mortgages. Consider, for example, the following simple mortgage scenario, based on American economic conditions:

• If you borrow $100,000 to buy a house for 30 years at 7 percent interest, your monthly payment will be roughly $665.00 for the life of the loan (principal and interest only). Your total cost for the mortgage will be approximately $240,000 (interest only), close to 2 ½ times the amount of money borrowed.

• To breakeven on this business transaction, your home must appreciate about 13 percent annually. This would cover the cost of the 7 percent interest loan, the 4 percent inflation rate, and roughly 2 percent property tax and home owner’s insurance costs.

• The average annual home appreciation rate is 4 percent, despite the real estate industry’s claim that homes appreciate 10 percent annually. Hence, a net zero percent return or less on the so called “investment.” The situation gets worse because this scenario does not account for other costs associated with the property—home owner’s insurance, property tax, maintenance, remodeling, etc.

Granted, there are times when real estate prices go up, such as what we’ve seen in recent years. This rapid increase in home valuation is usually referred to as a bubble, suggesting an unusual increase from the normal trend, which poses its own dilemma.

For instance, a housing bubble always ends up with a bust, meaning that the high peak cannot sustain itself too long before leveling off again. When it does, people who paid high prices for their homes will most likely lose money when the market drops.

Sellers who appear to make money as a result of selling their home at top price have two problems: (1) while they may have some cash on-hand, they are homeless, meaning no physical home address for the time being. (2) most people who sell their homes, almost immediately, buy another more expensive one, which consumes any apparent profit made on the first home. In which case, they are left in a cash-depleted situation, which may encourage the accumulation of more debt in the future. Hence, the cycle continues.

For these reasons and more, when the opportunity for wealth building is compared between home buyers and renters, those who choose to rent have greater propensity for financial success. That also means that when conditions are equal in all countries, the outcome will also be equal, in favor of renters who decide to invest the extra money that would otherwise be wasted on a home. Renters can truly be winners, regardless where they live!

***

Tom Graneau is a personal financial management coach and author of a new book, Renters Win, Home Owners Lose: Revealing the Biggest Scam in America. If you are tired of the bondage of debt and want REAL answers to personal freedom and financial independence, begin by turning things around with a no-nonsense approach to your housing option. http://www.renters-win.com/

Woo!

2010-08-13T12:02:00.001+10:00

Little Annoyance

2010-08-12T09:46:00.003+10:00

I love Australia. There is no doubt about that. However, there is a little thing that annoys me...

No heating pads.

When I was younger and got an ear infection (which happened pretty often), I used to strap the ol' heating pad onto a pillow, lie down and crack that sucker. I don't know if there was any actual cracking involved, but that's the sound when you heat up your ear when it's infected.

I don't get ear infections as much as I did as a child, thank goodness, but I still do. And now I've somehow given my most recent one to The Bloke. Sigh. And we have no heating pad to tie to his pillow and help him crack it. Double sigh.

Any Aussies know where I can get a heating pad? Or are my observations correct and I just can't get one here?

Like this: http://www.chinatraderonline.com/Heating-Pads/Heating-Pad-001750525.htm

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-11T14:41:00.004+10:00

(I found some old pictures today. This was my desk in my dorm at university - about five years ago.)

Happy Birthday to Me

2010-08-10T12:58:00.001+10:00

I have to tell you, I've never had a birthday quite like this. For the first time in my life, the day has rolled around, smacked me on the face and left me reflecting about everything I've done with my life this far.

A lot of my friends say I've done a lot and that they respect the hard choices I've had to make in my life. That's awesome, but I don't want to forever be known for something I did when I was twenty years old.

But, for all my reflections and thoughts on who I am/who I want, I couldn't feel too bad with so many people wishing me a wonderful day. I was reminded that, no matter how down I get on myself or how much I feel like I haven't done a lot with my life yet, I have people who love me. People who genuinely love me for who I am right now - even if that person isn't completely figured out yet.

To all of you, thank you.

To my husband who makes my birthdays and many other days absolutely amazing.

To all my friends who have and continue to make my birthday and my life awesome: a poem.

Friendship
None of that Sissy Crap

Are you getting tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces - just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well. Again, I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall ---- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

World Cat Day

2010-08-09T11:54:00.003+10:00

According to Susan, today is world cat day.

Asimov says: Every day is world cat day.

Right Now...

2010-08-07T16:56:00.004+10:00

Borrowed from Well-Mannered Frivolity

Outside my window… it is quiet as usual with a cold winter breeze moving through the trees.

I am thinking… of the lasagna I'm going to make tonight, all the work I should be doing but don't want to because of the window and why I write better at night with a lamp with an orange glow rather than white.

I am thankful for… the Bloke. He's awesome.

From the kitchen… ingredients are waiting to be put together for lasagna and a new dessert.

I am wearing… my comfies: a grey sweater I've had for years, dark grey sweatpants and, just for fun, my fun underthings.

I am creating… meals in my mind, stories on my laptop.

I am going… nowhere for the rest of the night. Too cold!

I am reading… Silver in the Sun by Tony Parsons, an outback novel.

I am hoping… that dinner will go well (can you tell I'm a wannabe chef?) and that I'll get a lot of writing done tonight.

I am hearing… The hum of the heater, news on the tele, the husband moving around.

Around the house… not much is happening. We live in a very quiet block.

One of my favorite things… is cooking.

I don’t understand… why people have to be so heartless sometimes.

I wish… I could stop time. And start it again, of course.

A few plans for the rest of the week… Well, I have a double-birthday lunch with John Mischief (mine is the 10th, his is the 11th) and a birthday pub meetup on the 13th.

A picture to share…

Friday Funny - TV Bloopers

2010-08-06T16:54:00.001+10:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-04T20:26:00.003+10:00

Things That Make Me Sigh

2010-08-03T16:53:00.003+10:00

I don't usually get into the 'dirtier' side of my life on this blog because I want it to be fun and exciting. I want this to be a space about life in Australia through the eyes of someone who grew up in a completely different country. And yet... Well, this is my blog. And if you do someday end up moving - being across the country or across the world - some people will never forgive you for it. No matter why you left, there will be people who are mad at you.

And it sucks. But it's part of life. Well, the expat life.

It's through this experience (and others like it lately) that I realise I have a lot of anger to deal with. Right now... Well, right now I am so bloody sick and tired about all my old US "friends" and family whinging and whining about how bad it was that I left and how much I hurt them.

Well what the fsck about me? Eh? I support so many people for the first twenty years of my life in so many bloody ways, and all I want is a little support in return for being brave enough to cut off my life from the woman who would have likely ended up killing me in one way or another. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently, yes.

Aussie Eats - Ginger Beer

2010-08-02T13:15:00.003+10:00

"This is a ginger beer."

"A what?"

"A ginger beer."

"A what?"

"A ginger beer."

"Oh, a ginger beer."

Did anyone else play that game in school? You'll know if you did because the rhythm of the game will have already gotten stuck in your head. Anyway...

Aussie eats, but she also drinks. And this amber liquid of the non-alcoholic variety is one of my favourites. I have always loved ginger beer, but I grew up with 'Canada Dry' ginger ale.

Not the same.

Ginger beer - specifically Bundaberg - really hits the ginger flavour and is sweet, but not like soda or juice sweet. This drink is perfect for a hot day or to settle your stomach. Fleur mentioned to me once that ginger beer is what got her through the morning sickness of one of her pregnancies.

Duly noted.

Now, I have to note here that I'm not sure if you can find this in the US or not. Like I said - I grew up with Canada Dry. If you can find it, try it. Yummy.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-28T15:24:00.004+10:00

The Plague

2010-07-27T12:06:00.003+10:00

The plague infected our household last week and is not letting go very easily. The Bloke is on Day 7 and is just back to work - and probably going to come home early. I'm on Day 4 and, well, it'll be naptime again soon.

Beyond that, Asimov got 'de-knackered' this past weekend, but he has come through it the same as ever. At least his being naughty has come down a few notches. Neither the Bloke nor I have the energy to deal with anything else.

Friday Funny - Marriage Envy

2010-07-23T04:10:00.001+10:00

Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.

Now, why can't you do that?"

"Gosh," Jack says, "why I hardly know the girl."

Aha

Aussie Eats - Salmon Avocado Sushi Roll

2010-07-22T03:48:00.003+10:00

I thought I would add some more colour (and pictures) to this blog by introducing you to one of the things Melbourne is famous for: good food. (This after good coffee, of course.) Thai, Chinese, Greek, Vietnamese... Even Jamaican. If there is a culture, Melbourne has some of its migrants who are working a restaurant or cafe.

I've made a rule to try anything once in the food world, so I hope you enjoy the pictures that are to come.

I'm starting off with a staple of my diet: the salmon and avocado sushi roll.

This sushi roll consists of one or two pieces (depends who cuts it) of raw salmon, a slice of avocado, a little bit of Japanese mayo and sushi rice (regular rice prepared for sushi use) all wrapped up in a nori (seaweed) roll. Delicious and healthy.

The thing about this that usually gets to people is not the seaweed but the raw salmon. I assure you that it tastes gorgeous. The thing that stops people from sushi/sashimi is fish tasting fishy, but your fish should never taste fishy. That means it's not fresh. When you have fresh seafood, then the true flavours come true.

While I do eat a lot of Japanese food, I promise to incorporate more cultures so you can get a real glimpse of why Melbourne is the food capitol.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-21T13:53:00.003+10:00

Friday Funny - Gandhi

2010-07-16T11:59:00.001+10:00

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad breath.

This made him ... A super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-15T13:18:00.004+10:00

What the Aussie Eats

2010-07-13T15:29:00.003+10:00

I make no secret of the fact that I have way too many blogs, but I don't let you know what's going on in the different places very often.

Anywho, I wanted to let you know that on Naturally Curvy, I have taken up the challenge of keeping a visual food diary to see how it influences how much/what/when I eat. It's been an interesting project so far, that's for sure.

Come check it out if you're interested.

Australian Rules Football

2010-07-12T14:51:00.003+10:00

A US friend of mine got a little confused when I proudly announced on Facebook that I had - for the second time this year - tipped eight for eight. Her confusion gave me the idea to introduce those not familiar to Australian Rules Football.

As far as I am concerned, this is real football. No padding. No constant stopping from one play to the next. No coaches on the field. Just men playing football and kicking amazing goals.

What is 'tipping' then? During footy season, you have eight matches over the course of each weekend (usually starting Friday night and ending Sunday). Tipping is trying to guess which teams will win for that round. The round before last, I guessed all winning teams right - eight out of eight.

Reader? Footy. Footy? Reader. Now you've been introduced.

Friday Funny - I Kissed a Nerd & I Liked It

2010-07-09T04:12:00.001+10:00