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25.6.10

Friday Funny - Politically Correct Pledge of Allegiance

Finally, I'd like to offer up the following, slightly modified, version of the Pledge of Allegiance.


I pledge allegiance
To the flag
Of the United State of America
And to the Republic
For which it stands
One nation


Under God, Yahweh, Allah, Vishnu, Kali, Shiva, Brahma, Saraswathi, Lakshmi, Parvathi, Ganesha, Anjaneya, Gaea, Uranus, Cronus, Rhea, Oceanus, Tethys, Hyperion, Mnemosyne, Themis, Iapetus, Coeus, Crius, Phoebe, Thea, Prometheus, Epimetheus, Atlas, Metis, Dione, Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hestia, Hera, Ares, Athena, Apollo, Aphrodite, Hermes, Artemis, Hephaestus, Asclepius, Demeter, Persephone, Dionysus, Eros, Hebe, Eris, Helius, Thanatos, Pan, Nemesis, The Graces, The Muses, The Erinyes, The Fates, Iuppiter, Iuno, Minerva, Vesta, Ceres, Diana, Venus, Mars, Mercurius, Neptunus, Volcanus, and Apollo, Ianus, Saturnus, Quirinus, Volturnus, Pales, Furrina, Flora, Carmenta, Pomona, Portunus, Fontanus, Aker, Amun, Ammut, Anubis, Aten, Bastet, Geb, Hapi, Hathor, Horus, Isis, Khepri, Khnum, Maat, Min, Mut, Neith, Nepthys, Nut, Osiris, Ptah, Ra, Sekhmet, Seshat, Seth, Sobek, Taurt, Thoth, Anu, Ninhursag, Enlil, Enki, Marduk, Tiamat, Kingu, Nabu, Ishtar, Ea, Enurta, Anshar, Shamash, Ashur, Kishar, Tao, Amaethon, Angus Mac Og, Arawn, Brainthus, Belatuadros, Beli, Borvo, Bran the Blessed, Camulos, Cernunnos, Condatis, Dispater, Dwyvan, Dylan, Esus, Govannon, Grannos, Gwyddno, the Horned God, Llud, Lugh, Mandred, Myrrdin Wyllt, Oghma, Achtland, Adsullata, Aerten, Agrona, Aife, Aine, Andarta, Andraste, Anu, Aoibhell, Ariadne, Arianrhood, Arnamentia, Aveta, Badb, Belisama, Blodeuwedd, Brigantia, Bridgid, Britannia, Cailleach Bheur, Cerridwen, Cliodna, Clota, Condwiramur, Corra, Coventina, Cred, Creddylad, Cyhiraeth, Damara, Damona, Divona, Druantia, Epona, Erce, Goewin, Habetrot, Henwen, Latis, Le Fay, Marcia Proba, Modron, Morgan LeFAy, Morgay, Morrigan, Nantosuelta, Nicevenn, Nimue, Oanuava, Njord, Freyr, Frigg, Freyja, Nanna, Skadi, Hermod, Odin, Bor, Tyr, Loki, Heimdall, Ulle, Forsetti, Aegir, Ran, Hel, Sif, Bragi, Idun, Balder, Ve, Vili, Vidar, Hod, Ba, Bixia Yuanjin, Cai-shen, Cao Guo-Jiu, Cheng-Huang, Chu Jiang, Dha-Shi-Zhi, Di-cang, Di-guan, Dong-yue da-di, Dou mu, Er-lang, Fan-Kui, Fei Lian, Feng Po-po, Fu-zing, Gao Yao, Gong De Tian, Gou Mang, Guan-di, Gui Xian, Gun, Han, Han Xian-zi, He Bo, Heng O, Hou JI, How-Chu, How-too, Hu Jing-de, Huang Fei-hu, Huang-lao, Huang-lao-jun, Ji Nu, Jian Lao, Jin Jia, Kui-xing, Kwan Yin, Lan Cai-he, Lao-jun, Lei-gong, Lei-zi, Li Tie-guai, Ling-bao tian-zong, Lieu Bei, Long-wang, Lu Ban, Lu Dong-bin, Lu-xing, ma Wang, Ma-mian, Men-shen, Mo-hi-hai, Mu Gong, Mu-king, Niu Want, Nu-gua, Pa, Pa-cha, Pan Jin Lian, Pan-gu, Qi Gu-niang, Ru Shou, San-qing, San-xing, Shen Yi, Shen-nung, Shou-lao, Shou-xing, Shui-guan, si-ming, Song Di, Song-zi niang-niang, Sun-pi, Tai-sui-xing, Tai-yi, Tai-yue da-di, Tao-de tian-zong, Tian Hou, Tian-guan, Tian-mu, Tu-di, Want Mu niang-niang, Wei Cheng, Wei-tuo, Wen-chang, Wen-shu, Wu Guan, Xi Shi, Xi Want-mu, Xian, Yang Jing, Yan-lo, Yao-shi, Yen-lo-wang, Yi-Ti, Yuan-shi tian-zong, Yu-huang, Yu-qiang, Zao-jun, Zhang Fei, Zhang Xian, Zhi Song-zi, Zhi-ni, Zhong kui, Zhu Rong, Zi-yu, Anguta, Aningan, Asgaya Gigagei, Atira, Awonawilona, Big Heads, Breathmaker, Coyote, eohako, Estanatlehi, Evening Star, First Man, First Woman, Gahe, Sluskap, Hio, Irdlirvirisissong, Kanati, Kitcki Manitou, Michabo, Morning Star, Magenatzani, Nesaru, Nokomis, North Star, Ocasta, Olelbis, Rabbit, Raven, Sedna, Selu, Shakura, South Star, Sun, Tekkeitserktock, Tirarwa-Atius, Thobadestchin, Thoume, Torngasak, Twin Thunder Bosy, Wachabe, Centeotl, Chalchiuhtlicue, Chantico, Chicomecoatl, Cihuacaotyl, Coatlicue, Ehecatl, Huehueteotl, Huitzilopochtli, Iztpzpalotl, Iztlilton, Macuilzochitl, Metztli, Mictlan, Mictlantecuhtle, Mictlantecihuatl, Ometecuhlti, Patecatli, Paynal, Quetzalcoatl, Teoyaomqui, Tezcatlipoca, Tlaloc, Tlazolteotl, Tonacatecuhtli, Tonatiuh, Tonantzin, Xilonen, Zipe Totec, Xiuhetecuhtle, Xochipilli, Yacatecuhtli, Apo, Apocatequil, Apu Illapu, Catequil, Cavillaca, Chasca, Chasca Coyllur, Cocomama, Coniraya, Copacati, Ekkeko, Huaca, Illapa, Inti, Ka-Ata-Killa, Kon, Mama Allpa, Mam Cocha, Mama Oello, Mama Pacha Mama Quilla, Manco Capac, Pachacamac, Pariacaca, Paricia, Punchau, Supay, Rucaguary, Vichama, Viracocha, Zaramama, the Triple Goddess, the Divine, Hastur, Cthulu, Yog Sothoth, the Great Old ones, the Elder Gods, and any other gods or goddesses that may be added at a later date as they are discovered,

Indivisible
With liberty and justice for all.

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