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24.9.09

Woman or Girl? (More Half-Pissed Musings)

Do you think of yourself as an adult or as a child?

The Bloke and I were at our local 'pub' last week - the Eat and Gamble - and were talking to a friend we have there. Hm. He needs a blog name. I'll call him John Mischief.

The Bloke and Mischief were talking about life, etc, and The Bloke asked, "Do you regard yourself as a boy or a man?"

Mischief replied, "A man."

The Bloke asked, "Do you know when you started thinking of yourself as a man?"

With a few seconds to think, Mischief laid it all out. He explained a bit and told about the event when he started thinking of himself as a man.

I sat there listening to the conversation - The Bloke shared when he started thinking of himself as a man instead of a boy - and I thought about the question. Did I think of myself as a girl or woman? What came naturally to my tongue when I answered the question?

When I think: 'A ____ has to do what a ____ has to do' about myself, I fill in those blanks with 'girl'.

In my life in Australia, I have made a lot of changes. I honestly don't know if I would truly know the person I used to be. I have grown in so many different ways, so much for the better. Yet, I don't naturally regard myself as a woman.

Why I still think of myself as a girl, I don't know. I would think that taking a massive flight across the world in what I still consider to be the defining moment of my life would be enough to transition into mental womanhood.

No dice. I still think as myself as a girl.

I'm not exactly sure why this is so frustrating to me, but it is. I've had dozens of people in my life over the years call me more mature than my age. I've had a couple tell me I have an old soul. So why does 'girl' come to mind and not 'woman'?

Do you think of yourself as a girl/boy or do you think of yourself as a man/woman? If the latter, what moment of your life brought you there? Was there a moment or event at all? Do you even recall?

4 comments:

Jenera said...

I feel like a girl most days, like I'm playing at a being a woman, a mom, a wife. But I think that just keeps me sane.

But I think I've hit being a woman. the day I've had to fight for my kids and/or my husband against the world, I became a woman. Does that make sense?

JM said...

I feel the same, and maybe it is a sanity thing. Sometimes we all just need to relax, but in this day and age, the only way we feel we can do so is to revert to a more childlike mentality.

Hanlie said...

The last year or so I have come to see myself more as a woman, but I still have my "girl" moments. I think it has a lot to do with settling into my marriage and "finding myself". But then again, I hesitate to define myself with labels. I think I've just grown up a bit!

JM said...

Oh, I think self-discovery is a large part of it. A lot of women who act like cutesy little girls need to take some time to assess their realities.