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30.8.09

Life as I Know It

Last weekend The Bloke and I had a Big Talk about things. You know, the kind of talk that leaves you mentally and emotionally exhausted but with that one spark of optimism about the future.

We got to talking about my life and what would happen if something happened to The Bloke. He said (and I agree) that I have built up my online presence and career quite well over the past few years. At this point, though, that's pretty much ALL I have.

Everything in my life at the moment appears to be wrapped up in my career. I don't have any hobbies or activities that have nothing to do with my career. Heck, there is barely anything I have going that even gets me out of the flat, and that's what worries The Bloke.

I won't go into all the details, but the talk left me contemplating my life.

The Bloke is and was absolutely right. There are so many things I could check into doing - from starting yoga to taking some courses - that I'm just not doing because all my time and energy is so focused.

Other than career-wise, I don't have an identity that is separate from The Bloke.

I'm not sure what I should do.

I've looked at various groups (none of which I'm terribly interested in), thought about tutoring or teaching... I'm just not sure what to do. Who is JM? What does she like to do? What is her style?

You'd think I would know that about myself, but I really don't. I don't know who I am outside of work related things. I don't know who I am outside of my marriage to The Bloke.

I've thought about photography, but I'm not sure I should go that route given my friends are into it. I think I need something that I'll need to learn. Even if it's reading 'blogging for dummies' it'll be learning.

Though I shouldn't read about blogging unless I want to, given that is also work related.

I just don't know. I know I want to do something that makes me happy, gets me out of the flat and isn't work related. What that thing or those things are... Argh.

Who thought it could be so hard to find something that is 'you' when you have so many choices available?

Any suggestions?

4 comments:

Jenera said...

So maybe you are like my doppelganger or twins separated at birth or something. I'm having similar thoughts/issues/stresses and I'm struggling with it. I'm caught in this weird no man's land.

This probably didn't help you but hey at least you're not alone right?

JM said...

It is a weird area, isn't it? You feel kind of stuck and unsure of what your next step it should be.

*hugs*

Hanlie said...

I think The Bloke is a very smart man!

I was in the same boat about a year ago, but these days I'm out and about much more. It's worth it, JM!

JM said...

Yes, he is. :)

The thing is finding a reason to get out and about more. I'm lost for that at the moment.