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4.10.06

Of Course I'm Nervous (Archives)

Four days to go in counting. Tomorrow is my last day at work, and I guess I get a sending off party. It's funny how so little time ago, I thought it would take ages for this time, this milestone counting down to my trip, to come. I waited to get through hell week at work. I waited until my last day. I'm waiting until the night I pack. I'm waiting for the moment I get in the van taking me to the airport...

I'm not sure if this is odd or not, but I'm honestly nervous for the both of us. Looking at it from The Bloke's perspective, or what I think is his perspective, I begin to feel like some exotic flower being transplanted. To be taken care of with love and watched over carefully. I know it's been a while he's lived with someone of either gender. It's only natural to be nervous about accustoming yourself to someone who isn't your gender, isn't your age, and in this case, isn't even used to living in a city flat.

Then I'm nervous for myself. I'm leaving all I've ever known for all I've ever wanted. The key in that, though, is the leaving all I've ever known. I'm not nervous for living with someone because I usually just set up my little corner and am happy with that, but I am nervous for living with a guy. I'm nervous about all my little habits...

For instance, I bite my nails. Gross of grossness, but I'll admit it. (Oct 2008 Update: I don't anymore.)

I also like to have a box of kleenex next to any computer I work at. Even at work when I have to print price stickers, I have a box of kleenex by me. (Oct 2008 Update: Not so much anymore...)

Even if I've washed it out right after I drank the milk, I don't like using the same glass for milk twice if it's been long enough between one glass and the next. (Oct 2008 Update: I don't drink milk straight anymore.)

Also, and I'll try to rein myself in or The Bloke will have to break me of this, I usually have bottles everywhere. Of water, gatorade, orange juice, apple juice... It's not really out of place for me to have three to six bottles of different drinks in the fridge at one time. (Oct 2008 Update: Hasn't changed one bit except all the bottles are filled with water.)

If I eat M&Ms, I'll bite them in half if I'm eating them one at a time, or I'll eat two at a time. No other way. (Oct 2008 Update: Still the same.)

When I'm restless, I'll clean.(Oct 2008 Update: Still the same, but I rarely feel restless anymore.)

I dance in the rain. I'm serious. I also like to splash in puddles. (Oct 2008 Update: Same, but I don't do it as much because we have neighbors. )

I also just dance a lot. I try to do it when no one is looking, but... (Oct 2008 Update: Hasn't changed.)

I also have pretty much no sense of fashion, but I'm working on that. (Oct 2008 Update: Still working on it.)

I've also been known to button shirts up wrong, wear things backwards, etc (Oct 2008 Update: Only rarely, these days.)

Also, probably one of the most random, weird things about me... I can't stand to have the television volume on an odd number unless that number is 51. (Oct 2008 Update: I couldn't care less anymore, just so long as I can hear the tele.)

So, because of these things and others, I'm nervous for myself. But, I figure we'll make it because, frankly, if we've made it through what we've made it through so far, we can get through anything. So, here we are, still counting down...

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