Well, the day of the flight is getting closer and strangely, I find myself calming a bit. As I told Hawke, I'm having a very serene day. Everything is in place and I just have to show up where and when I'm expected. I have this very strong sense that everything is going to be alright. I think that has a lot to do with the thoughts The Bloke and Hawke have been sending me (or trying and hitting against my dense wall of a head :P) for a while now.
I'm going to get my carry-on ready tonight. Heaven knows I'll forget something, so it's best to have my most important bits ready to go early. (Bloke - no comments about my important bits.)
Hawke always likes to remind me that everything happens for a reason. Well, strangely enough, on my last weekend at home, the family is having a get-together. I'll be able to make goodbyes (be them silent goodbyes) should I wish to do so. I'm even doubling up with Big W tonight for bowling because my mother can't bowl. I figure that's a nice little "coincidence".
Were I at a different point in my life, I would take this as a sign I should stay home. Or I would guilt myself into staying home. I was about to, too, but something happened today that reminded me of one of the reasons I'm leaving.
That's not the only reason I'm leaving, of course, but it reminded me of one facet of why I'm doing this. I'm not just taking another step with the man I love, I'm taking a step for me. I'm standing up for myself and finally claiming my life. It's mine and I'll do with it as I please. Maybe I'll fall and stumble, but at least I'll have only myself to hold accountable for it.
I know I'm rambling, but after things seeming unreal, then freaking out a bit last night, it feels good to stand so strong on my convictions. My decisions. MY decisions. It's a wonderful feeling.